Complaint or Compliment

“Complaints be gone, compliments bring on.” – Janae Bower

Notice how both words start the same, they just end very different.  The ending, however, brings all the difference in your life.

I had woman from my training class the other day who was the only person late.  She complained that traffic was bad due the horrible rains we’ve had lately.  The good thing for me as the trainer is that she kept her complaints of the class for the most part to herself.  However, I could feel her “complaining energy” and assume that she was complaining internally in her mind throughout the class.

Ironically we get a part of the training in which I divided the 20 participants into three groups to review the three attitude of gratitude strategies that I’ve outlined.  She was part of the group that needed to look at how to turn criticisms to compliments.  Here is a bit of what was in the course material.

One of the best ways you’ll be able to put negative behavior in perspective is when you remember the positive characteristics of the difficult people you work with and acknowledge them for these positive attributes.  Responding in this way is typically the exact opposite of how you first want to react, which for most people is to criticize.  However, criticizing others just produces more of the same behavior in the first place.

She asked me to clarify what this was all about and continued to complain to the group how complimenting just to compliment is not effective.  Unfortunately, she was the main voice for the group so I needed to add my perspective of how important this concept is.

In any situation in life, we often have two responses; we can give the positive, which is to compliment, or the negative, which is to complain.  When we chose to compliment as our response, we tend to see things slightly differently and feel slightly better.  When we choose to complain as our response, we tend to see things slightly worse and thus feel slightly worse.

The law of attraction, both a spiritual and scientific law, will then back up our response – whichever one we choose.  Our compliments will bring us more things and situation in life to compliment and vice versa.

At the end of the training, I had a gentleman stay after class to compliment the class; it was his first experience in the program and he shared how I did a great job facilitating the experience.  Then as I was packing up the end-of-course evaluations, I had an evaluation that complained how poor of a job I did as the instructor. Both of these people will leave the training with a different end result, one will take away positive things from the class and the other one won’t.

The caveat is that most of the time our compliments and complaints don’t only impact just us.  They often have a ripple effect to many other people.  This is very important to know and realize.  I could have chosen to let her complainants and negative energy impact me and the other participants during class.  Or I could have chosen the opposite. I’ve learned how to stay positive during the class and for the most part after it.

I’ve got to admit that I felt disappointed in that poor evaluation and questioned my effectiveness.  Then as I walked out the door, I starting saying gratitudes to myself (I am so grateful for this beautiful weather, I am so grateful I don’t have to drive in rush hour traffic very often, etc…) and it all started to take a different turn.  I bet you can guess how my day ended.

So bring on the compliments, and know that in doing so, you’ll be bringing up with you many others whose lives you touch!

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